It's been raining and high winds since I arrived in Portugal on February 17. Everyday has been a fight against the weather but more importantly I've been fighting for over eight months. A fight to break through in scoring. I have practiced harder this year, played more tournaments and been more frustrated than any other time in my life.
A battle that at moments seemed against time itself. A fight that waged on as I pushed myself out the door day after day in search of something that seemed so evasive that I felt a bit manic, moving from great moments of hope to crashing displays of scoring sending me back into the internal search for "the breakthrough."
Pretty much of 2012 was spent in this pursuit. My ball striking and short game were improving by leaps and bounds but my game, my scores, were slipping away from me. Everyone was impressed and gave me high marks for swing and short game but I couldn't score!
Was this it? Am I a driving range pro that can swing it beautifully but never put a good round together? Was this the end of my career as a golfer.
You deal with these questions, don't we? When we are in the 'pit of despair' and searching after the magical elixir. The overnight cure that takes us out of a dark brooding place....WAIT...this is going nowhere fast. My goodness, it's a game!
I love this game. It sounds so ridiculous to say but the truth of it is that I love this game. I don't play it because I have to, I play it because I want to. I HAD FORGOTTEN THIS!
Friday, the second day of Qualifying school, here in Portugal, I rediscovered that I love this game, but I had lost every ounce of joy. I was playing with a poor attitude. This is not the reason I walked into this journey in the first place. I had a choice and I took it. I went out there on Friday and enjoyed playing the game I love!
Results: I laughed with my caddy, I laughed! I enjoyed even the high winds and rain..yes that's a little weird. And...I moved up the leaderboard 12 spots. It wasn't enough to get me through to Stage 2 but it is the right stuff moving forward. I enjoyed the game again. I played golf. I love this silly crazy game. I love taking long walks in big manicured parks and for some reason I just like this game!
My year has started with an amazing turn. Joy is something that has to be practiced. It requires as much exercise as the golf swing itself. Maybe more. I just know....I'M BACCCCKKKK!
Thanks for being in my corner. I am putting my 2013 tournament schedule together over the next few weeks. In the mean time,
Hit'em hard and look up!
Byron
2 comments:
For the love of the game? Believe it or not, I can identify with you on this. The writing game has lost its fun as I strive for an income. Not a good sign is it? Thank you for reminding me to find the fun.
Hi Susie. It's seems like such a fine line. You would never do what I did in the first sentence of the fifth paragraph...would you? But at the same time sometimes we get caught up in the technical aspects that we forget the joy. Thanks for replying. It helps!
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